Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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