Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
