He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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