Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
