took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
