im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
