i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
