1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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