So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
