You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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