I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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