if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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