yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
This baby is an asshole
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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