You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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