just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
