i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
