Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
