does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
