after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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