can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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