You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You may now shotgun with the bride
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
