She announced her abortion via fbk
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
