All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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