you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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