Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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