Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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