I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
