You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
