I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
