So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
