she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
