If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
