This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
