My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
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