I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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