They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Is it penis luge time yet?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
