Taylor Swift is so right about you.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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