I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
