so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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