What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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