You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Randomize
