I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
