so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
