and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
