i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
