Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I don't deserve a penis
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
