exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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