No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
