he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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