This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
