Im at strip club and am horny
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
